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Gone to that blender in the sky. [Jan. 30th, 2005|06:45 am]
[mood |awakeawake]

Tonight.. was, weird to say the least.

I got this fish from work which was a big mistake.. he got this fungus real fast.. and Yuki helped me out with my list of supplies I needed. I ran out to Wal-mart and bought an ass load of stuff for the fish... when I got back home with .. everything.. it was like 1:30 am, and Yuki helped me on the phone from then on.

After hours of setting up the tank... washing rocks, looking like a baka, etc.. Kels(who decided to help me earlier in the game, but only after showering in the same bathroom I was working on the rocks in, and singing herbal essences theme-type song thing) and I finished the tank and all was ready. We went to retrieve the fish that we had set in the bathroom in it's small, un-healthy vase, and were shocked suddenly to see it was... dead. O.O!!

Yuki told me what I had to do.. >.< And though I cringe to think about it, I have to say his little head was caught in the net at the end of the ride before taking the big plunge and that it was hard as HELL to get him out of that vase when the net wouldn't even FIT into the neckhole of it.

A lot of time was wasted on this little project that never seemed to end, but end it did... with Yuki nearly pissing himself as he laughed his ass off at me and how I was traumatized by the unfortunate event. o.o;

All in all, I have a clean tank ready for a new fish. (NOT from Wal-mart. >/) And at least I didn't get a lot of time to get attached to him.

His little face once stared at me, then it was buried in the rocks. I don't like my fish to rockface, thanks. o.o! Makes me shudder at the thought.

So, Yuki and I end up talking on the phone till about 6:05 am. We were like "@.@ WTF!" We have no idea how the time flew by that fast .. all amidst our talking about fish, weird animals and parts people eat and the way they kill them to eat them, and our moms who obviously say the exact same things. o.O;;

"Mom'll do it!" XDDDDD

I swear moms have a handbook so they can all do the same things. >.O And what is it with moms worrying about what 'you' have to do, when they can just take care of their own messes. Jeez. x.X

Okay, I'm done. ^^;;;
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(no subject) [Jan. 24th, 2005|10:24 pm]
[mood |guiltyguilty]
[music |l'arc en ciel//ready steady go]


Okay, I'm about to do the one thing I told myself I would never do... I'm THIS close. >.>

There's this... person.... who IMs me all.the.time. asking to RP. THE SECOND I FUCKING SIGN ON!! >O

Maybe I don't want to RP every damn second.... especially not when she adds all these characters that I say are okay to add, but inside I'm going "Blech, oh god.. how can anyone play these types of characters and not be dying inside with repulsion." XDDD

Yeah, so.. I have no clue what to do.

Say no? Oh-ho, I've tried that one.... like three times and every time this girl like signs off ALL pissed. And she acts so sweet at first too. "Booga! Wanna RP? ^_^" And I write out like a forever-long reply to tell her why I can't or whatever, and she goes off on my ass! So what am I supposed to do?!

I get online tonight and I put my away up.. and I accidentially clicked it off about an hour later and right away "BOOGA! WANNA RP!?" This girl needs to copyright that as her slogan or some shit. >.>;;

Okay, okay.. maybe I am just being mean. v.v;; She also says right after that (tonight) "You aren't gonna say no again are ya? -grins. tickles him.-" And you know what I said back?




I haven't replied yet and she's been sitting there waiting for a response for.. :: Does the calculation. :: 11 minutes so far. I don't really plan on saying anything. o.O;;;

I knew I shouldn't have told her about the s/n I'm on now. >.<

Oh! And the one thing I'm about to do that I told myself I would never do to anyone cause I think it's a pussy way of hiding? Block her ass. x.x;; But.. I can't bring myself to do that. That would be too far.
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Excuse me while I emo it up some more [Jan. 23rd, 2005|01:08 am]
[mood |frustratedfrustrated]
[music |porno graffiti//melissa]

I wish there was a thing a person could go to so you could 'disown' a person from your memory. Just like editing a simple sentence, a lyric, a piece of poetry.. erase the shit or things that would lead to shit. (Basically forget the person and every memory of the person entirely.)

Oh, you say I wouldn't do that? I always cling to memories like some.... memory-starved brain-eating packrat? Hah.

...I would so do it...

Electro-shock therapy just wouldn't be enough. >.> I don't wanna forget EVERYTHING.. just.. everything about the person who equals shit. XD
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For future reference... [Jan. 19th, 2005|12:37 am]
[mood |recumbentoverwhelmed]
[music |mirai//open up your mind]

Okay, I need to stay away from people when nothing's going right for me. I lashed out at many people. -.-;;;

Recently ... alot of shit has been happening. It's weighing down my attitude, but I must see through this darkness... pierce it with the light of my happiness! XD Positive thinking! Yes!

But.. so much.. o.o; STRESS! ARGH!!!! >.
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On a lighter note... [Jan. 18th, 2005|01:21 am]
It's fun when your best friend in the motherfucking universe spits in your face. It's fun when you can't even feel your heart anymore because it's in your goddamn throat. It's great when tears are running down your face before you even blink. ... I love it when I feel helpless and alone. When I realize it's always been this way beneath the fool's golden surface-- it makes me want to smile.

The wind blows and caresses nothing but flat land... no trace that there ever was another in my plane of existence -- when there is no one else around, who is there to tell you that you are living at all? When words fall on silence there is no one around to hear it. I am dead in a non-physical way... because my body is numb and frozen in a time where truth was the lie I believed to be my reality.
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The end of Brian and I, the beginning of my 3-year depression. o.o [Jan. 17th, 2005|11:43 pm]
Today marks the 4 year anniversary of Brian fucking dumping my ass. Hahahaha. I realize now what a joke our relationship was.... >.> :: Proceeds to light candles in the dark and drag a box of kleenex to his side. :: ;-; Has it really been four years already?! Kuso.
fond memoriesCollapse )
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(no subject) [Jan. 6th, 2005|11:43 pm]
[mood |groggymedicated]
[music |green day//boulevard of broken dreams]

I have a cold.
I'm moving soon.
I have no appetite.
I'm way psyched to get settled in my new room!!
Oh, and..
^^ *sniff* I called in sick today... hahahaha!
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Seth's Series Of Unfortunate Events XD [Dec. 28th, 2004|12:52 am]
[mood |exanimatelost]
[music |weiss//beautiful alone]

The greatest pain in the world is losing something or someone you need.

...That's all I have to say.
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What a way to wake up. x.x; [Dec. 22nd, 2004|02:17 pm]
[mood |coldchilled]


Apparently, Kelsey had left the door open for more than a moment and Zoro ran out into the cold and when Kels chased him, he just RAN.. and she came back in the house, and everyone was mad at her because she gave up.

I leap out of bed and push past her out the door to look for him.

It's damn cold.. I see no cat. I go back inside to get his kitty treats, because when you shake the treat can, usually he and Casey come running.

So, equipped with the kitty treats, I head back outside and start walking up the hill we live on, unsure of which direction he headed but just.. walking. And calling for Zoro. And shaking my can. >.>

I walk for a while until I start to lose hope, then I see Kelsey coming up behind me, telling me that she saw Zoro go down the hill, not up. x.x; So I start going down the hill with her, and there's this path that's all iced up and I slip and slide on my back a ways.. with Kelsey laughing at me, and me cussing. XD

After I get back up, we decide to walk on the dead grass down the hill to be safe, and I head down the hill to the bottom and around the corner calling for him. Kels went back inside the house. I'm shaking this can and yelling, "ZORO KITTYKITTYKITTY!" I'm starting to lose hope again as I walk further away from home. I feel like I'm gonna cry, but I know if I do that my tears will freeze, lol. So I try to be strong but I'm slowing down, and I know he couldn't have went this far. I stop walking, just standing there on the sidewalk while cars drive by me.. my face feels like it's going to fall off because it's so cold.

A car pulls up beside me and I recognize it as the one Kelsey drives and she rolls down the window and tells me that mom and her want me to take care of myself and wear a coat, take care of my hand(which I hurt when I fell) and to stop looking for him because I won't find him. v.v I told her I would look for him until I found him. Kelsey tells me to get in the car, so I do. Lol

After she takes me to the bank(XD Where my aunt works.) and cashes her check, I get some poppyseed muffins from our aunt (^^ YAY!) and we make our way back home. I'm still looking out the window for Zoro.. worried that he won't come back even when Kelsey tells me he will come back. He didn't come back to his previous owners afterall. x.x

When we get home, Zoro is already inside and I cheer and give him a cat treat and hug him. ^^! Yayness!
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Over-Overtime [Dec. 19th, 2004|01:15 am]
[mood |listlessworn out]
[music |gackt//to feel the fiyaa^^]

Work today was just.. 'ugh'.

Lemme elaborate on this:

1: One of the new associates, April, was.. getting on the rest of our nerves.. a little bit. >.> She seemed bossy and know-it-all and stuff because her mom and sister work at the Walmart HEADQUARTERS in.. um. Arkansas. Her sister is the food distributer, and her mom is .. blahblahwhocares. ANYWAY, the animosity in SHOES was horrendous. XD And.. it went like that for awhile....

2: Manager JEREMY kept pulling the shoe associates to other departments and being ALL forceful about it when he's not supposed to. Managers aren't supposed to force people to stay after their shift, but they can ASK. Uhuh, not MANAGER JEREMY.. grr.. >.< He like, FORCES people to work.. The stupid.. >/ Anyway, he kept singling out Nick.. one of my favorite co-workers and my friend. He works so hard and he was working in other departments most of the night because of JEREMY. Meanwhile our department is looking like shit, and Jeremy doesn't give a flying fuck.. and I'm getting irritated at this shit, because I for one am not staying longer than I should in SOMEONE ELSE'S department. Shit.

So Nick is all upset because he is caught yelling about Jeremy.. by Jeremy. And Jeremy harrasses him saying "Quit your whining" and all this stupid shit.. and Nick is upset about it and working in another department. I get fucking PISSED and go to Nick and tell him that he can't be forced into working overtime and ESPECIALLY in another department and he needs to just clock out and go home. But he says he will work longer. x.x

So April and I, who I'm now getting along with, are talking Nick into going home, but he starts to cry and I get so fucking pissed because Jeremy is the cause of all this and because Nick just tells us that Jeremy told him he's going to TELL ON US to OUR department manager JEFF. So I blow a fucking fit and walk all fast to the back room saying, "I'm writing a letter to Jeff right now!" With April behind me going, "Slow down!" Lol XD

So we're back by our desk, me writing fast as HELL and I'm sure no one could understand my writing, and Nick is trying not to cry.. and he's about to break down and it's making my heart ache and become more pissed every second. So I joke with him a little to lighten the situation and he laughs a bit, but then April and I tell Nick he needs to go home and we'll finish up our department. So he agrees, but is now crying because of what we're doing for him... though I reassure him it's nothing, and it isn't... if he's crying and upset then he can't work like that. So he goes home.. and April blinks at my letter, trying to read it.. and making fun of my handwriting. She re-writes the letter in a better way, while I'm standing there and spouting out shit about Jeremy, who I'm still pissed at.

We finally finish with the letter, and we see Manager Jennifer, and we ask her if we can talk to her and we go into the Manager's office and tell everything about Nick and Jeremy and him threatening to tell our manager. She seems understanding and tells us that she will get with Jeff, and Nick and Jeremy and set things straight. ... And so April and I continue to work and get OUR department done, and no later then 12:20 am either. ^^;;

Yeah, I was scheduled till 11:00, why does that matter? >.>
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